A: “Baby, we need to talk. You owe me a second chance”.

B: ” I remember this one time when I was helping my dad with his gardening, and at the end of the day we were dehydrated and worn out, so we ordered some indian takeaway and had a few beers. Next morning I woke up absolutely busting for a shit”.

A: “Lol”

B: “Problem was, because of the indian food it was going to be a ring burner, and because I was still dehydrated it was coming out hard. This was not going to be a pleasant shit, is what I’m saying. So I sat there for like ten, fifteen minutes, trying to push this demon turd out of me”.

A: ” Ummm”.

B: “Suffering through the burning, this thing that was topping out the Mohs scale. After a while I was able to snap it off, but though the turd was gone, its memory lived on. My asshole fell distended, stretched into unholy positions, and burned worse than Anakin Skywalker at the end of episode 3. It was the rest of the day before It felt like it returned to normal… But you know what?

A: “What?”.

B: “If I had the choice,
I would sooner go find that turd
hold it close to me
apologise to it
reassure it that everything was going to be okay
then cram it back into my asshole
than give you a second chance

A: “Wow…”.

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